When Sasori Gets Bored
by Agurra of the Darkness
Summary: Ever wonder what happens when Sasori can't work on his puppets and is bored out of his mind. Well the Akatsuki are about to find out the hard way. Hilarity will ensure. Oneshot.


Has anyone ever wondered what Sasori does when he is bored and can't mess around with his puppets? Well the Akatsuki are about to find out the hard way.

When Sasori is bored

It was a normal dreary day in the Akatsuki base. The group of nine missing ninjas current didn't have any missions planned out and were finding ways to pass the time. Deidara was sculpting his latest masterpiece, Kisame was polishing his sword, Hidan was stabbing himself, Kakuzu was counting his money, Itachi and Zetsu was anyone's guess and no one knew where Pein and Konan were.

However there was one member of the infamous organization who wasn't preoccupied and that was the lord of puppets himself, Sasori. The young red head was sitting in the living room on the couch with a blank bored look on his face. Ordinarily he would be spending his time fixing or modifying his puppets, however something had happened this day he never counted on. His puppets were all modified or fixed to the point where all Sasori could do was polish them and he had stopped doing that an hour ago. Now he had no puppets to work on and to make matters worse there wasn't much else he could do to pass the time since he couldn't eat, drink or sleep due to being a living puppet. So now he was sitting on the couch bored out of his mind. Finally he got tired of doing nothing and reached for the remote and turned the medium sized TV in front of him on.

He flipped through the channels looking for something of interest; he must have passed over a hundred channels before he saw something that caught his interest.

Sasori: "Robot Chicken", Interesting?

His attention peaked Sasori watched in fascination at the various thirty-second clay animation skits the show presented. Then he saw something that really caught his interest. The screen displayed what appeared to be a music composer who was looking at some sheet music. When the screen displayed the title of the song it brought both interest and confusion to Sasori.

Sasori: "The Ode to the Nut Shot?"

No sooner had that thought entered his head that he was then bombarded with images of various characters and people have all being smashing the groin area through various and rather hysterical methods. By the end of the song Sasori was laughing like a madman

Sasori: Aahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

The show however soon ended and Sasori at first was disappointed at not being able to enjoy more of the musical mayhem. Then a thought crossed his mind. All of a sudden a evil grin that would have scared The Death God appeared on his face.

Sasori: Now I know how to pass the time.

With the sinster grin still on his face, Sasori quickly ran out of the living room and headed to his bedroom. All the while strange sounds emanated from his room.

Later…………..

The other members of the Akatsuki had been called by their leader to meet in the living room for some reason. Not ones' to question Pein they all quickly gathered.

Kisame: Why the hell, did we all get called here? Last time I checked we didn't have any missions today.

Hidan: Why the f&#% are you asking me S%^ face, I all know is they better have a damn good reason for interrupting……….

Kakuzu: you playing with yourself.

The other members snickered at the remark

Hidan: F$% YOU KAKZU!

Itachi: Whatever the reason I hope we don't have to wait much longer.

At that moment the lights went out.

Zetsu: Who the hell turned out the damn lights?

Before someone could respond a small light illuminated a small area of the room. It revealed something that shocked all those present.

Deidara: Sasori? What the hell are you wearing?

This question was on the minds of all the ninjas present as Sasori had abandoned the tradition red clouded cloak for what appeared to be a music composers suit. What was even stranger was he had a music stand in front of him with sheet music on.

Zetsu: Um Sasori what's with the new look?

Rather then answer the red headed sand ninja simply raised his left hand revealing a short brown stick similar to the ones composers use to direct an orchestra.

Kakuzu: What exactly do you plan to do with that?

As if voice activated another light shined from out of nowhere pointing just a few yards away from Sasori revealing an even more shocking site. Over fifty of Sasori's human puppets dressed in similar attire were now arranged in several rows of five. Each one was holding a different instrument from ranging from a flute to tuba. Each puppet was being controlled by Sasori and appeared ready to apparently play something.

All: What is he doing?

Sasori then started to wave his hands and the music echoed throughout the halls. The music itself wasn't that bad but it wasn't that good either, which made the missing ninja's wonder "why the heck is Sasori….."

AHHHHHHHHHHHH! A loud high-pitched scream now sounded throughout the fortress.

All eyes turned to the source of the noise to find Hidan on the ground with another one of Sasori's puppets not three feet away from him. The strange thing was Hidan had both of his hands in between his legs while the puppet had one of its wooden legs raised.

Hidan: WHAT IN THE F#$% NAME OF JASHIN WAS THAT FOR YOU MOTHERF#$#%#% ,A##$%WIPE? The immortal ninja screamed in a rather high pitch as he clutched his family jewels.

Before anyone could respond more of Sasori's puppets started popping up all around them and before the others had a chance to retaliate each one was struck right where the sun don't shine. The rouge criminals all had various reactions and responses to the assault.

Deidara held his manhood in agony and his one visable eye was now as wide as a dinner plate as he cried

Deidara: MY CHERRY BOMBS? (Get it?)

Kisame tried to block the attack but ultimately was struck and the once mighty Ninja Swordsman of the Mist fell into the feital position on the floor with tears of pain falling out of his eyes like waterfalls.

Kakuzu managed to stop the first assault by hardening his whole body with his Earth Spear technique but just as he tried to leave.

SMACK! Another puppet leg rose up right behind him and smashing his manhood but good.

He twitched for a moment before falling face first on the floor like a statue. If someone were to listen closely, they would hear a symphony of cruses erupting from his mouth.

Zetsu couldn't even move before he was struck more then ten times and his two sides had different reactions

White Side: The… The… The Pain

Black Side: DAMN YOU SASORI!

The only one standing was Itachi who surprisingly had be hit more then fifty times yet showed no signs of pain. However that was only because he was in so much pain he passed out while standing up with his eyes open (their ninjas they can do anything).

The ball busting song eventually ended and Sasori and his puppets started to walk away. The downed Akatsuki members tried to stand but where in too much pain to stand.

Before Sasori had left, a voice rang through out his ears.

Deidara: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR UH?

The puppet master slowly turned his head towards the fallen bomber with an emotionless expression on his face. He stared at him for a few seconds before simply replying.

Sasori: I was bored.

Silence was now all that could be heard as the response now echoed into the mind of each ninja. With the question answered Sasori headed back towards his room to find another way to pass the time.

Once he left the room all the Akaksuki members (except Itachi) had one thought running through their minds that would never leave them for as long as they lived.

All: We are never letting Sasori get bored again!

End.

Hey everyone well I hope you enjoyed the story. I personally thought it would be kind of funny for there to be a Naruto story where someone forced everyone into the infamous "Ode to the Nut Shot." Then I thought who better then Sasori and for him to use it on the Akatsuki. Anyway hope you like it. See you till later and don't be afraid to review.

Please Review. Also check out my profile as I have set up a small list of story Ideas I had but never used. So if you are interested go check um out. If you want to use them let me know first via PM and I will see if it's okay. Come on and check um out. Well till next time Agurra out.


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